As I’ve grown older, one truth has become crystal clear to me: Life will always

test your values

. Whether through the noise of social media, the churn of political decisions or the relentless pace of markets, the world rarely aligns perfectly with what we believe.

So what do we do when we can’t change the circumstances around us?

We set boundaries

. Not as walls of isolation, but as frameworks for protecting our well-being, preserving our integrity and providing inner peace in the midst of the chaos.

This insight is reinforced by the teachings of Alfred Adler, a pioneering psychologist and former protégé of Freud, whose ideas are brilliantly captured in

The Courage to Be Disliked

, a book that I highly recommend.

Adler argues that much of our suffering comes from trying to control what is not ours to control. This is a concept he calls the “separation of tasks.” Government policies, social media discourse and the opinions of strangers are not my tasks. Yet, I’ve all too often allowed them to occupy mental space and influence my mood. Recognizing what belongs to others and what belongs to me is liberating because it shifts the focus back to where I have agency: my choices, my reactions and my values.

Adler also emphasizes the courage to live authentically, even when doing so invites criticism or misunderstanding. The world will not always share my principles but that is not a failure, it is reality. The courage lies in saying, “I will act in alignment with my values, even if others disagree.” For me, this means curating my digital environment and limiting exposure to negativity. It means replacing reactive scrolling with intentional engagement and seeking communities that foster constructive dialogue rather than corrosive debate. Boundaries are not about avoidance; they are about creating space for what matters most.

Adler’s idea of community feeling reminds us that boundaries also do not sever connection; they enable healthy participation. When I allow constant exposure to conflicting values to drain me, I diminish my ability to contribute meaningfully elsewhere. By setting limits, I preserve energy for relationships and work that reflects my principles.

Freedom, Adler argues, is not doing whatever we want; it is choosing responsibility for our own life and our actions. Setting boundaries is an act of responsibility for mental health, for integrity and for living a life that reflects what we believe. I often tell my two boys that transitioning to a young man means accepting such responsibilities.

And here’s where this philosophy

intersects with investing

. Markets, like people, operate beyond our control. We cannot dictate interest rates, government policy or geopolitical events as these are not our tasks. What is our task then?

It is building a disciplined process,

defining risk parameters

and

aligning portfolios

with your

long-term goals

and values. Just as boundaries protect mental health, investment rules protect financial health and well-being.

By

designing a portfolio around a goals-based strategy

, investors can avoid the trap of taking excessive risk simply to keep pace with others, a temptation that often grows after periods of strong market gains. The past three years have rewarded aggressive positioning but chasing performance rarely ends well. A goals-based approach reframes success: It’s not about beating someone else’s benchmark but about meeting your own objectives with discipline and clarity. This mindset creates boundaries in investing, much like in life, protecting you from the emotional pull of comparison and the fear of missing out.

The opposite extreme is equally dangerous: allowing negativity to take root and retreating into excessive cash holdings. In doing so, investors risk missing opportunities the market continues to offer. It reminds me of the parable of the three talents in the Bible where the servant who buried his talent out of fear lost everything, while those who invested wisely multiplied their gifts. The lesson is timeless: Stewardship requires courage and action, not paralysis. In investing, as in life, the challenge is to balance prudence with progress and setting boundaries that guard against recklessness without surrendering to fear.

The courage to be disliked in investing means having the discipline to stay true to yourself and what you value. Real freedom in markets, just as in life, doesn’t come from trying to control the uncontrollable. It comes from mastering our own decisions and acting with conviction, regardless of external noise.

If we cannot change others or the market, our task becomes clear: minimize their influence on our inner world and our portfolios. By doing so, we reclaim the courage to live and invest authentically, not by bending to external forces but by strengthening the internal framework that guides our choices.

It helps to remember that this is our life’s path, not someone else’s, and so success should never be measured by comparison but by alignment with our own values and goals. When we act from such a footing, both life and investing become less about reaction and more about intention, which is much needed in today’s highly polarized world.

  • Life and wealth management come down to the same principle: Don’t let pursuing ‘more’ rob you of ‘now’
  • A silent retreat gave me four anchors to help quiet the screams of market headlines and avoid mistakes

Martin Pelletier, CFA, is a senior portfolio manager at Wellington-Altus Private Counsel Inc., operating as TriVest Wealth Counsel, a private client and institutional investment firm specializing in discretionary risk-managed portfolios, investment audit/oversight and advanced tax, estate and wealth planning. The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of Wellington-Altus.

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